The laughing vagina

As Naomi Wolf walked to the dais wearing a red dress, an elderly man seated on the back row showed a V-sign to his companion. Perhaps, what he meant was not victory. Naomi was going to talk about an important but overlooked connection between vagina and mind in female sexuality.

The author of the "Vagina: A New Biography" moved freely around the dais with a microphone in her hand, challenging the traditional ethos associated with vagina. In ‘Vagina’, Naomi used research by Concordia psychology professor Jim Pfaus to study the complex subject of female sexuality. As she began to speak about sexuality, words like ‘vagina’, ‘orgasm’ flew one after the other. A mother soon left the hall with her two teenaged sons. But a man who sat on the back row with his daughter was cool. The little one was too young to understand anything from the speech. With a notebook in hand, he tried to write down points. Did ‘vagina’ first appear as ‘china’ in his notebook?

Women outnumbered men in Naomi’s debut sex talk held recently in Chennai. They all knew the famous social critic and author of "The Beauty Myth" would be talking about vagina, the most mysterious organ in their body. Knowing this, Naomi smiled, and said: “When I use the word ‘vagina’, I use it inaccurately because our language is so impoverished.”

In her much discussed book, “Vagina: A New Biography", Naomi argued how a connection between a woman’s brain and vagina affect her sense of creativity and consciousness. To explain it, she even narrated an episode from her own experience. A decade ago, when she developed a spinal injury, she experienced a number of disruptive symptoms like ‘loss of sensation’ and 'loss of meaning'. Naomi confessed to the audience that she didn’t experience orgasm while having sex during this time. But once she recovered from the illness, she regained the state of mind she experienced before she developed the spinal injury. So the mind-vagina connection is a real and fundamental one in female sexuality, she said, challenging the existing feminist theories.

There was silence when Naomi said ‘30% of women do not reach orgasm regularly when they want to’ and ‘another 30% have low libido.’ So, are women the main instigators of divorce? ‘Yes’, said Naomi. “So those are statistics worth paying attention to.” But at the same time, a revelation came from Naomi: “Pleasure empowers women--politically as well as psychologically."

So the positive effects of female sexual pleasure are going to count. “If a woman lives in a culture that supports her knowing how to have an orgasm and knowing her own body and sexual responses, then her brain boosts dopamine,” she said. Dopamine is a chemical messenger that helps in the transmission of signals in the brain and other vital parts. According to the author, dopamine here plays a big role. “It boosts trust in a woman’s judgement. It gives her confidence. It’s the ultimate feminist neurotransmitter.”

The neural wiring of each woman is unique to her, like a signature. What do you do if you want to make a woman happy? “Each woman is wired differently. The clitoris, the primary source of female sexual pleasure, is a more complicated one. It actually extends to all the way back in the pelvis. The north of it is the clitoris and the south is the G-spot. So knowing one’s wiring is the most important thing in sex,” she said.

Today, crimes against women are on the rise. Of late, we have seen a number of attacks on women in many parts of India. Rape is the most deadly among them. “Rape stays in the body, and rape stays in the mind,” said Naomi. “Rape is a form of mutilation. It's a form of assault that's so permanent that its effects are felt throughout a lifetime.”

It was only in religious and cultural texts women are seen as goddess. But today’s woman should never take things granted. “Goddess is a place of self-respect that appears in every woman. It's there. You should be aware of it. If one doesn't honour you, honour yourself.” Unfortunately, ‘Pornography’, according to Naomi, is a tragedy. "It is not teaching our young men and women how to train their autonomous nervous system. It’s a tragedy."

Naomi was cool when she told the women to reclaim ‘vagina and their sexuality.’ Sexuality is a gift, she said. “It’s high time we reclaimed our vagina and sexuality. We won’t be shamed by it anymore. It’s a gift to our daughters and sons.”